Tyler Page White

349. It has been 349 days since my dear and beautiful friend was wrapped within the arms of Jesus and taken to her forever home. I love this image. I cling to this image. The image of Jesus, in all of His glory, reaching down and gently whispering into her ears, “Welcome home!”. 

This Easter has been hard. I would be lying if I told you it wasn’t. But, in the midst of heartache, there are two beautiful truths I am certain of: Tyler Page White loved Jesus and loved people so incredibly much. She loved Jesus and she loved people. Those are two truths I will forever stand firm in.

Tyler was my soul-sister. From the first time we met, we were the best of friends. She was bold and courageous and stood up for herself and her friends. She was the most loyal and dedicated friend I or anyone could fathom.

One of my last memories with Tyler, the way I will forever remember her, is singing Red Sea Road. When Tyler sang this song, I think the entire room was in tears. I could have stayed in that moment forever. This song was Tyler’s anthem and today it is mine. None of us could have known how desperately we would need the words she sang that night. How desperately we would need to cling to the same hope.

“So we sing to our souls.

We won’t burry our hope.

Where he leads us to go.

  

There is a Red Sea Road.

When we can’t see the way,

he will part the waves

and we will never walk alone

down a Red Sea Road.

Help us believe you are faithful.

When our hearts are breaking,

you are faithful.

Oh, grant us eyes to see,

you are faithful.

Teach us to sing

you are faithful.”

I haven’t been able to fully put into words what life is like without Tyler White here on earth. I miss her. Oh, my friends, I miss her so much. My dearest friend left earth and is now dwelling in the arms of Jesus. She is whole and complete and all of her pain is gone. I hold tightly to the hope that we will one day be reunited under the tall magnolia trees. 

Tyler Page White loved people and she loved Jesus. She loved Jesus so incredibly much and wanted so desperately for her friends to know him as well. My never-ending hope is that I can love and touch as many lives as Tyler White did in her lifetime. I hope that I can learn to walk in the outpouring of love and grace that I watched my friend so effortlessly walk in.

Tetelestai

Jesus. 

My friend. 

My rock. 

My fortress. 

It hurts for me to think about this day. 

The day my friend was beaten and scorned. 

I can hear them yelling, “Crucify Him!” 

I can see the pain and hurt in His eyes. 

His body weak and fragile. 

The smell of blood and dust filling the air. 

The day he took up his cross. 

He carried it upon His back, until he could no longer. 

Sweat and blood dripping down his body. 

My Savior, being ridiculed and spat upon. 

Can your hear the cries amongst the laughter? 

The day he was nailed upon a cross for all to see. 

I can see Him hanging there. 

The weight of every sin and shame heavy upon his shoulders. 

When the time comes, he asks for a drink.

I can taste the sour wine they pressed to his lips. 

As he pushes up, with one last breath,

he yells with everything he has left, “tetelestai”! 

Jesus proclaims, “It is finished”!

The Last Supper

When I think about the last meal Jesus had with his disciples I picture the season we are in now. Normally this story is told around Easter since it takes place right before Jesus’ crucifixion. I would typically write about being thankful or the countless blessings that God has freely given me. But I am sitting here, and I keep going back to that day. I picture Jesus sitting at a table as his people, his village, surround him. These were the people that he did life with. They followed him everywhere he went. They watched leapers be healed. They saw the dead come alive. They witnessed the blind opening their eyes for the first time. They saw the lame take their first steps. And here they were. Gathered around a table communing and fellowshipping with one another. 

The Passover was one of the most important feasts on the Jewish calendar and all the Jewish men were expected to go. This was a time for them to remember and celebrate the deliverance of Israel to Egypt. Jesus was so excited to spend this day with his brothers. He already knew this would be the last meal he shared with them. I can see everyone laughing and talking. Sharing memories and stories with one another, much like we will do in a couple of days. And I picture Jesus sitting and soaking it all in. He knew what was coming. He knew he was about to die a gruesome death. He knew he was going to be betrayed. He knew that his friend would deny him three times. Then, he stands up and takes the bread in his hands and starts to tear it apart. He says this is my body. Then he holds up the wine and says this, this is my blood. Take it, and remember me. I don’t think the disciples knew what to expect when they arrived to the upper room. I don’t think the disciples could have known the painful revelation this night would turn into. I can’t imagine being a disciple and hearing these words come out of Jesus’ mouth. I can barely read the story of the crucifixion without tears streaming down my face. 

The story of our redemption breaks me every time. The truth is, Jesus was willing to go to the cross. He went to the cross, not for him, but for us. And because Jesus died on the cross we get to experience the power of grace. And through grace we find joy. And through joy we find thankfulness. And through it all, we find Jesus. My prayer is that as we spend our holiday at tables surrounded by “our people” that we would remember this day. That we would remember, in the midst of the chaos, where our true joy and hope comes from.

Gifts of Grace

Grace. This word seems to be reigning on my heart lately. 

Giving it. 

Receiving it. 

To myself and others. 

I enjoy words. Probably a little too much. Studying them and the beautiful meanings behind each and every one. I also love new words. I have an ever-growing list of words I find, whether it be in blog posts or books. I will take these words and study them for hours. Each one holding such power and value. While grace is no new word for me, it is one that holds such purpose in my life. Grace. It is what makes up my innermost being. I was created by grace. I am loved through grace. My identity was made in the presence of grace. Everything I am, tied to this beautiful, four-letter word, grace. 

This word was translated into English from the Greek word, found over 150 times in the new testament, Charis. This word is defined as “unmerited favor”, “virtue coming from God”, or “a state of sanctification” Oh, my beautiful friends, are we not so loved? When I think about this love, the love that Christ has for us, it never fails to leave me in awe. I will never understand a love so deep and vast. It goes beyond my humanly mind. It is crazy to think this is exactly how he intended it to be. He designed my mind to where I will never be able to fully understand him. He designed us to where He will always be beyond our comprehension. Oh, the wondrous awe of Christ. 

As I began studying this word, this word that is at the threshold of all that I do, I sat in awe of the beauty and love that Christ had and will always have for us. A word, whose purpose is ultimately the same, and yet so diverse and abstract to each and every person’s life. Christ freely invites us into the realm of grace. He invites us into His presence where sin no longer holds power. Our mistakes, they are clean. Our sin, it is no more. Our chains are broken and we are set free. He changed the period to a comma because the story wasn't over. The story still isn't over.

We get one. One life. One life to choose to live and breathe and laugh and dance in the face of all the circumstances that come your way. We get one life to squeeze your people tight every chance we get and tell them that we love them. Let’s take this this beautiful gift of grace and run. Let’s love more, laugh more, sing more, dance more, and be more. And let’s do it all in the beautiful name of our Jesus. How great is it to be caught in the grace that bounds us together? We are all walking each other home and soaking up these beautiful moments.